


How to Catch a Predator

by lais



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Crack, Fanfic, Other, Yoon Jisung - Freeform, hasungwoon, howtocatchapredator, hwangminhyun, kangdaniel, kimjaehwan, kpop, ongseongwu, wannaone - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-13 01:06:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14739206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lais/pseuds/lais
Summary: A drabble on where Ong Seongwu and Kang Daniel are police officers with the Seoul Police Department, and go undercover online as innocent teenagers to lure and catfish the bad guys.





	1. The Case of Mr. Jidam

**Author's Note:**

> I have NO clue where this is going, but I've actually been wanting to write this for a while ever since I saw "How To Catch a Predator." This is basically crack on crack, where Daniel and Ong kind of catfish predators online.

A surly, middle-aged and balding man walked up to the front of a white picket-fenced house. He peered into his phone screen, double-checking that he was at the right address. His wife didn’t know where he was, and assumed he was just out with his friends.

If only that was the case.

He’s been messaging a particular online user for a week through chats, and today was finally the day where he could take his fantasies and make them come true.  

Holding a plastic bag in one hand, he straightened out his work clothes and went straight to the doorsteps to ring the doorbell.

_Ding-dong!_

“Oh, I’ll be right there!”

The voice was slightly high-pitched, belonging to who he figured was an adolescent. After a few moments, the front door opened, and out peeked a teenage boy’s head.

“I’m so glad you’re here!” the boy said, batting his eyelashes, “Come on in.”

The man went inside of the living room, feasting his eyes on the teen. He had blonde hair, fair skin, and was wearing baby blue shorts: which happened to be his favorite color.

“Daniel, baby,” the man said thickly, “You’re beautiful.”

“Thank you, sir!” Daniel innocently chirped, “Let me be right back, and I want to get some toys for us to play with! Feel free to have a seat on my couch.”

The man nodded, and Daniel disappeared behind the curtains. His fantasies were running wild, and couldn’t wait for the teenage boy to get back here.

“What’re you doing?”

The man jolted up in shock, and turned around to see himself faced with another man who was standing directly behind him.

“W-who are you?”

“Ong Seongwu, I’m with the Seoul Police Department here in town. It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Jidam,” the man responded, pulling out a stack of papers. His police badge glinted at the holster of his pants.

“What were your intentions when you came here?”

“Me?” Mr. Jidam now replied, “I-I was here to help tutor him.”

Ong nodded, flipping through the papers.

“Tutoring him on sex?”

“I-I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

“Oh, really?” Ong said, raising an eyebrow. He ripped out a page from the packet in his hand and slid it to him.

“This was found off the Tinder website inside the private chats, and it looks like ‘BigPapa101’ is your username.”

 

> **BigPapa101: haha and i’d do all sort of things to you**
> 
> **LITTLEPEACH1: oh really uwu like what**
> 
> **BigPapa101: i would **** you in the **** until you see **** and just *** and make you scream *******
> 
> **LITTLEPEACH1: im innocent and young uwu i don’t have experience**
> 
> **BigPapa101: it’s okay little daniel, i’ll **** you and **** everywhere and make you ****. Let me show you a good time :)**

“This is a misunderstanding!”

“Is it? From what I see here, Mr. Jidam, you’re a pedophile that has been sexually contacting a teenage boy for a week now.”

Ong grabbed the plastic bag that rested by the man’s feet and turned it upside down to see its contents. An array of condoms, dildos, and even a pacifier tumbled out.

“Are you still going to try and deny it?” Ong said, picking up the condom, “You’re fucking sick.”

Mr. Jidam got up from the couch and made a beeline to the front door. Ong didn’t bother trying to chase after him, and watched as the middle-aged meatball lumbered his way out.

As soon as Mr. Jidam bolted to the porch, he was instantly tackled and handcuffed. Looking up, he was more than surprised to see that it was Daniel. He was no longer wearing the baby blue shorts, but was clad in a full police officer uniform.

“Daniel, sweetheart, let me go! Handcuffs are only meant for the bed!”

Daniel yanked his arm behind his back, resulting into Mr. Jidam yelping in pain.

“That’s Officer Kang to you,” he said, locking the handcuffs, “And Mr. Yook Jidam, I hereby put you under arrest with the charges of pedophilia and sexual contact with a minor.”

“Wh-what?” Mr. Jidam stuttered, “You’re not fifteen?”

“No, dumbass,” Ong cackled, and walked up from behind them.

“He’s 23. I hope you get some glasses when you’re in jail.”

\-------

“Last week, Mr. Yook Jidam, 55, was arrested with charges of pedophilia,” the news reporter stated, “After being convicted guilty, he’ll be sentenced to ten years in prison.”

“You really got them this time,” Jaehwan whistled, “I should get credit for coming up with ‘LittlePeach1.’”

The three men were currently on their lunch break in the police station, where Jaehwan was reading the daily newspaper and its reports, and Ong and Daniel were eating a donut. The three of them have worked together ever since their internships at the police station.  

This was their daily routine: Ong and Daniel would go out and pretend to be innocent teenagers and try to see what type of sickos they’d reel in, and they would watch the news report on it a week after with Jaehwan. Ong claimed that it was similar to fishing. If you left the bait, you’d wait for the fish. And then you’d kill the fish.

“You should’ve seen him,” Ong said, almost dying of laughter, “He thought Daniel was fifteen!”

Daniel threw the remainders of his pink frosted donut at his partner.

“Shut up! It was your stupid idea to make me wear those shorts!”

Jaehwan raised his eyebrows at his two coworkers.

“Okay, but really? ‘BigPapa101’? That’s got to be the worst username I’ve seen in a while.”

“And what even is ‘uwu’?” Jaehwan said, his eyebrows furrowing as he read the papers that Ong showed him, “Is it an expression?”

Jaehwan's confusion drove Daniel and Ong into fits of laughter as Jaehwan kept trying to pronounce it.

"OOH-WOO?" "EW-OOH?"

"What the hell are you guys talking about?" their co-worker Jisung said, filling up his mug with instant coffee, "Don't tell me Ong and Daniel were the ones behind that Jidam guy."

"Maybe."

"Well, I do have something for you," Jisung said, pulling a card out of his back pocket. He handed it to Daniel, who's eyes widened at the birthday card with big neon green letters that spelled out "HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY."

"Fuck you, Jisung!" Daniel yelled, ripping it into two, "I don't look that young!"


	2. Mr. Jaemin Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ong and Daniel may have reeled in one of the biggest drug cartels just to learn he has a weird obsession with fruit.

“Alright, you fucks,” Jisung huffed, throwing a stack of papers at Ong and Daniel, “We’ve got a new bastard for you to catch.”

“That isn’t the nicest thing to be calling us right now, is it?” Ong said, raising his eyebrows while sipping his black coffee, “Pretty rude if you ask me.”

“That’s not the case,” Jisung snapped, “We need you guys to pull your bullshit again and catch this next dude. Fast.”

“And why would that be?” Daniel quipped, still glued to his phone screen.

“Because you might just reel in the city’s biggest drug lord, that’s what!”

He sat down with Ong and Daniel in the lunch break room, where they started reading through the file that Jisung had prepared for them. Jisung took out one of the papers, slapping it down on the desk.

“This is Jaemin Park. He’s in charge of the city’s marijuana imports, and lurks around in the dark parts of the city. We’ve been trying to get him behind bars for five years now, but the bastard is way too sneaky. If we’re going to arrest him once and for all, this is the only way.”

“And how would you know that?”

Jisung sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“We found out that his YouTube history consists of watching little boys in baby blue eat bananas.”

Ong spit out his coffee, almost wheezing at Jisung’s sudden information.

“So, as bad as this sounds, you guys actually might be helping the city.”

“What’s in it for us?”

Jisung swallowed.

“A promotion, a pay raise, and you can play as much Fortnite as you want in the office.”

\---

“Is this really fucking necessary?” Ong grumbled, twisting the baby blue shorts that Daniel squeezed him in, “Like, is this absolutely necessary?”

“You wanna see the shit I have to deal with whenever we pull this?” Daniel replied, pulling out the phone, “Welcome to the club, fuckface.”

“Glad to be here.”

They were both stationed back at their shared apartment. Jaehwan had given them both an untraceable computer and cellphone. After an intense round of rock paper scissors, it was Ong’s turn to be the bait.

“These shorts are riding up to my dick.”

“Too much information, Ong. Stop being a pussy, and just get it over with.”

Ong slowly made his way to his bed where they quickly snapped pictures of him. Making sure to crop out his head, Daniel made sure to take pictures of every inch of his friend’s body.

(It’s not like this was anything new. The two of them have accidentally walked in on each other naked countless times.)

“How does it feel to be a model?”

“Shut up.”

After uploading Ong’s pictures to Tinder, the two boys also created a new account as well.

“Let’s give you something funny,” Daniel snickered, his fingers flying on the keyboard.

> **@SealCutie5: Hi! My name is Ong. I’m 12 years old, and I want to make some new friends! Feel free to message me uwu!**

“12 years old is stretching it,” Ong said, squinting at the computer screen, “I’m 23.”

“How are they supposed to know?” Daniel shrugged, “They’re weird as fuck anyways. Maybe they’re also blind.”

A sudden ding interrupted their banter, signalling that someone had already checked out their page.

> **@BigBossJaeJae: hello there seal**

“Oh, hello,” Daniel said, eyes widening, “That was way earlier than we expected.”

The two of them sat down by the computer and got down to work.

\------

“So, you guys got this?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“As sure as that one time Ong beat his meat so goddamn hard that he couldn’t feel his left leg.”

“Hey!”

After successfully luring Mr. Park in, they decided to meet the man at a random house. Ong and him had agreed to meet on a Friday night, where Mr. Park claimed he could “get time off work.”

Jisung was with them over the radio. After a week of talking with Jaemin Park, Ong and Daniel learned three things.

> **1\. The man had a weird obsession with fruits.**

_“This man won’t shut the fuck up about his kinks with bananas and apples,” Ong complained as he ate his burger, “Like, how fucking weird is that?”_

> **2\. He was a total pedophile.**

_“This is fucking nasty,” Daniel gagged, showing Jaehwan all of their screenshots, “Come on! He doesn’t shut up about shoving weed up Ong’s ass.”_

_“Maybe he wants to give him a high orgasm,”  Jaehwan speculated._

> **3\. He was going to come through the door at any second.**

They’ve done this countless times before. They followed the same routine: they lured the bait, set the trap (which was some old house building), and called for backup. But for some reason, Ong and Daniel were actually nervous this time. It wasn’t any regular pedophile: this man was an actual mob boss. Ong’s hands were clammy as he waited on the couch, and Daniel and Jisung disappeared behind the curtains.

The doorbell rang, and Ong cleared his voice to make it two octaves higher.

“H-hello?”

“Ong, cutie, it’s me,” he heard a greasy voice whisper, “Open up for me, will you?”

“I’ll be right there!” Ong squeaked. He flashed Daniel a thumbs up before running over to open the door, and was greeted with an even greasier looking man.

Ong wanted to gag.

Jaemin Park wore a beret that covered his whole head, his hollowed out face sickenly staring at Ong. They were the same height, (Which is surprising; Ong considered himself quite tall) and he slowly removed his trench coat that reeked of strawberry cologne.  

Mr. Park took a seat on the couch and motioned for Ong to come closer.

“So, cutie,” he grinned, “I don’t have all day, Daddy’s busy. Would you mind if we sped up the process with a strip show?”

Ong gulped. He first stared down at the skanky attire he had on, before making up a random excuse to get the fuck out of there.

“One second, sir,” Ong squeaked, “I need to get ready!”

“Take your time, pumpkin.”

Forget Usain Bolt; Ong Seongwu dashed for his dear life. After quietly closing the door behind the kitchen, he waited for a solid five minutes until he heard Daniel’s voice. Sighing, he grabbed the spare police officer uniform that was lying on the counter, and slipped that on over his raunchy short shorts.

Meanwhile, Daniel stepped into the scene.

“Hey there.”

“Ong, baby, your voice sounds different,” Mr. Park mused, before looking up.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, sorry to disappoint,” Daniel laughed, flipping out his police officer badge, “I’m Officer Kang with the Seoul Police Department. I’d like to ask what you were doing in a minor’s household.”

“Me?” Mr. Park said, pointing at himself, “Why, I’m his uncle.”

Daniel threw the stack of printed screenshots from Tinder onto the coffee table. They were all of the lewd comments that Mr. Park happened to make, and Daniel was pretty sure he knew each one.

> **@BigBossJae: baby boy, you’re so fine, i want to shove a kiwi up that cute tight ass of yours**
> 
> **@SealCutie5: omo but won’t that hurt? i’m still young uwu**
> 
> **@BigBossJae: it’s okay baby, daddy will take care of the pain :3**

“Yeah. You wanted to shove a kiwi up your nephew’s ass?”

“I mean, kiwis have nutritional value, right? Officer Kang, you’ve got to see where I’m coming from here.”

“I don’t. Clearly he isn’t your nephew. I’d know myself.”

“And how would you know that?”

In stepped Ong.

“I’m Officer Seongwu with the Seoul Police Department. Jaemin Park, I hereby arrest you for sexual contact with a minor, as well as pedophilia.”

“Yeah, dumbass,” Daniel laughed, “He’s my coworker.”

Before Mr. Park could escape, Jisung and his backup stood in the doorway.

“Not so fast, bastard. We’re getting you jailed for good.”

Ong and Daniel watched Jisung click the man into handcuffs and shoved him into the police car. Before driving off, Jisung sighed and looked at the two men.

“I hate to say this, but you guys did a pretty good damn job.”

Ong and Daniel gave eachother a high five.

“You wanna go eat out to celebrate? It’s on me!”

“Fuck yeah.”

\-----

“And so,” the news anchor reported, “Jaemin Park, a well-known drug cartel in Seoul, was finally arrested two days ago. To our surprise, it wasn’t for anything drug related, but it was pedophilia.”

“Wow, you guys sure struck gold again,” Jaehwan mused.

Like always, they were watching the daily news report (Jaehwan thought the news anchor was hot) as Ong and Daniel were playing Fortnite. It was peaceful: now that Jaemin Park was behind bars, Jisung was too happy to scold them and let them run rampant. 

“Not going to lie, it’s kind of funny what type of sick people we reel in,” snickered Ong, “I mean, come on. Shouldn’t they have seen me and realized I wasn’t twelve?”

Daniel shrugged.

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, which is why I think you’re pretty fucking ugly.”

Jaehwan intervened as Ong was choking Daniel.

“Lovebirds, save this for the bed!”

And Jaehwan was sent flying out the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! So, first off, I actually was planning for this to only be two chapters, but I do apologize for the loose story plot. In all honesty, these were more of drabbles to me.  
> I've been wanting to write this for a while, and I do admit, I was pretty happy with how it turned out. Though this was mostly crack, I really liked the originality.  
> Though this isn't my best work, thank you for sticking with it.  
> This is dedicated to SBSU. Thank you for not killing me when I don't finish your AUs, and thank you for always being so supportive! I love you guys so much!  
> I promise I'll be back with a better work soon now that it's summer. I hope this fic was okay!  
> Feel free to follow my twitter @wannasuns. Let's be friends!
> 
> Once again, thank you for everything. I'll go back in and edit this (I wrote this on two hours of sleep, spare me) later. 
> 
> Love, Caro

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly LOL what even is an ending?  
> I'm not sure where I'm going with this and it'll probably flop, but I enjoyed writing this! I'm debating writing this as a multi-chaptered fic, but we'll see. :-) I promise to come back with something better soon!
> 
> Feel free to follow me on twitter @wannasuns. Let's be friends!


End file.
